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Get to know the Adult Child




Yesterday while getting myself something to eat from the nearby eatery...you know, the one that sells amazing party jollof rice and calls itself "A place". Well, I was walking to my car and I overheard a security guard refer to me as a woman. He said "this woman wan drive commot o". Brethren, I teared up. No man/woman born of a woman has ever referred to me as a woman before!!! I wanted to yell "Damn straight! I'm a woman!!! I pay taxes you know?".

You may wonder why this is a big deal, "why is this one making noise about being a woman?" but what you do not know is that I am a 25 year old female stuck in the body of a prepubescent teen. I have been shoved into adulthood because of my age but my mind is nowhere near ready. Between me and you/you and me (English! *sigh*), I am desperately faking it at adulting. I don't know why I cannot just renounce my adultship and head back to primary school, where all I would be concerned about would be deciding between using my yellow crayon or orange crayon to colour my drawing of the Sun( the Sun looks orange-y to me sometimes).

If you need proof of my inability to successfully adult, check these out:
  • I constantly suppress my urge to skip or twirl
  • I can turn anything...and I mean anything into a toy
  • I act out dramas in front of my mirror
  • I will dance to music, regardless of where I am and what music is playing or if there is music playing
  • I congratulate myself whenever I finish eating my vegetables and reward myself because...I have been a good girl
  • I pout when I am in a bad mood
  • I loooooooove to nap
  • My original reaction when I am told to do something by a figure of authority in my life, is to yell NO!, stomp on their feet and run away. I have to remind myself that this is frowned upon in Adultopia
  • Picture books over text only 
  • I love animated films
  • I cry when I am frustrated
  • I put the bedsheet over my head and pretend I am a ghost or tie it around my neck and pretend I am a superhero. This goes on for a while before I finally successfully lay the bed
  • I am forever making faces, it's like my face cannot stay still
  • I make patterns on the street/road when I walk
  • I still look away when kissing scenes come up in movies/tv shows because...gross

How is this person able to hold down a job you ask? No?..you didn't ask you say? Well! I will tell you anyways!!!!!   I HAVE NO FRIGGIN' IDEA. All I know is that it is a daily struggle keeping up this act.

Soooooo! Join me on this journey through adultitude and learn how I weave, dodge, jump and pass growing up. Fake it till you make it yo!

2 comments:

Perdu said...

Lovee this ������

The Adult Child said...

Thank you for loving it!!!!

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